Life sometimes takes such unexpected turns that we humans can only stand still and wonder. That’s what happened to me. Just two months back, I was urging my father to stop talking to me about my marriage plans, and here I am today, announcing my engagement. It is how the sequence of events has been in my life in the last two months. However, I am not at all troubled with all these sudden turns and twists.
Coming to the topic of the discussion, the name of my fiancée is Vishakha. Our roka-cum-engagement ceremony took place on 30th of July. We exchanged rings before a small family gathering and had our first pooja together. Now, we are officially in our courtship period. We both belong to slightly different educational backgrounds and academic interests. However, that doesn’t seem to be a barrier between us, and we share many views about life, family, society, and other things in general.
I have been timid in talking to strangers, but right from our first meeting, I struck a strange connection with her. Our first meeting lasted for around one and a half hours, which astonished our families, given that she and I don’t talk much, even among family members. Since then, we have spoken for uncountable hours, discussing our priorities, ambitions, goals, thoughts about life, likes, dislikes, etc.
It may be initial excitement or infatuation, but I can feel the emotions of care and love blossoming in me. These are some unfamiliar emotions for me. I have never attached to any human being other than my parents. Now having the same feelings for a stranger is difficult to digest. I don’t know if love can blossom so quickly. But if it does, then I am definitely in love. And if it doesn’t, it will happen soon.
When I broke the news on Instagram, many people asked me one question - Why so early? While there were no particular reasons behind my decision, in retrospect, I think this was an excellent decision to take at this juncture of my life.
- I am currently stagnating in my life and career. I am going through that phase where I don’t see any yield of my work on both personal and professional fronts. Although I am confident that I will reap the results of this work in the future, the present appears to be the best time to welcome another person into my life. I hope her entry into my life and the resultant influence will help me come out of this slump phase. I must mention that this is a double-edged sword, and I am taking a huge risk here. But that is something only time will tell.
- My parents would have started forcing me to get married in the next year or two. I preferred not to juggle between Bengaluru (or elsewhere) and Jaipur, hoping to find a match. I have seen my cousins struggling with that.
- I had planned to go for a corporate-sponsored graduate program. But then I left Cisco, and Netskope doesn’t have any such program; I had to put this plan on hold for a couple of years. So, I am relatively free at this point in my life. I believe there couldn’t have been a better time to hook up than this.
- After the pandemic began, I came back to my hometown. Since then, my life has become highly monotonous, and I was looking for some respite from it. I was feeling the need for another person in my life who could push me out of my comfort zone while also respecting my boundaries.
- Perhaps I was also looking for lady luck.
Marrying means leaving your bachelorhood behind, and that has its downsides.
- Time spent on your family means you can’t spend time on your career and other outside-of-work activities. But I think, at some point, I had to find a balance anyway.
- The responsibility to maintain a family is not an easy one. It comes with its challenges. Bachelorhood is relatively easy; you are on your own. But in married life, someone else is looking up to you for constant support, dedication, and love. I wonder how long it will take me to adjust to this.
- Your goals and ambitions are not only yours anymore. They get shared with your spouse. And if the spouse is not supportive, life can take a downturn quickly.
- You can’t just think about yourself selfishly. You need to consider the effect of every decision of yours on your spouse as well. It can get clumsy sometimes.
As usual, I have spoiled this post by talking about ups and downs 🤣. My habit of weighing everything in pros and cons will not die so quickly 🤓. But I want to clarify one thing: I am thrilled and content with my decision.
I am looking forward to this alliance and spending more time getting to know Vishi 💗. I hope I will be a worthy partner to her.